Mary Khadivi shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Good morning Mary, we’re so happy to have you here with us and we’d love to explore your story and how you think about life and legacy and so much more. So let’s start with a question we often ask: When have you felt most loved—and did you believe you deserved it?
In my last months of college, I was stressed and unclear about what exactly were my next steps postgrad. I’d been working towards applying for vet school nearly my whole life but pivoted to interviewing for mission work (with humans). Our newman center at school introduced me to most of my lifelong friends. It was crushing to fathom that I would no longer be within walking distance of their houses or have the opportunity to see them several times a week at extracurriculars. To top it all off, I was in a draining living situation that made day to day life very stressful.
In the midst of all this, before finals week and graduation, my very dear friend organized a big surprise (my favorite!) dinner party to celebrate my birthday! We had tables full of our close friends that I’d spent countless hours with the last 2 years and enjoyed Indian food (she was so thoughtful to pick a cuisine that had ample options for my then vegetarian lifestyle)! It felt so surreal to go between tables, hugging my friends and cherishing these final memories before we’d all spread out across the globe. My brain flipped through memories like a rolodex: late night retreat planning, sleepovers, hiking, camping, road trips, service projects, date parties, meeting friends’ families, moving apartments, cramming the night before a physiology exam, planning campus wide events and so much more. To top it all off, we went back to her apartment with a few close gal pals and enjoyed chocolate over my other favorite activity – deep, meaningful conversations. I can’t describe how uniquely SEEN I felt with her attention to detail and insistence that we celebrate with the little time we all had left together…my prayer is that every person develops a friendship of this caliber!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
First off, I’m a daughter. Both of God and a midwestern household with an Iranian dad and an American mom. My 4 siblings and I were raised Catholic in a household that valued travel, generosity, faith and experiencing other cultures. Although I’ve been a lifelong Kansan, some of my most formative moments unfolded far from home after spending Easter in Prague & Austria, attending Mass in Blessed Pier Giorgio’s Italian backyard, making international friends in Spain, standing beneath Kauaian waterfalls, and hiking across Utah.
From 2020-2023, the bedrock of my personal brand was “Chronic Pain Ownership” – being solutions focused while holding the reality of how chronic pain seeps into every area of your life. I’ve experienced some constellation of chronic symptoms since grade school and chalked it up to stress or my lack of trying. This theory held until after college when my schedule was the most steady it had ever been and my symptoms only spiked. Long story short, after years of hiring conventional specialists only to hit dead ends and unsuccessfully begging the Mayo clinic to accept me, I stumbled across a holistic dietitian on Instagram. That discovery completely transformed the trajectory of my healing. As I returned to the ancient wisdom of holistic health and implemented very simple, steady practices – my symptoms began to improve! It was never linear but over time I have been able to slowly begin driving again, apply for jobs, travel, sleep, attend concerts and even country dance! 2020 Mary that was nearly bedbound wouldn’t believe it! The discovery of holistic medicine was so potent, I paired it with marketing trainings I’d undergone to coach holistic practitioners to market themselves to people that were in my shoes. From 2023-2025 I LOVED coaching them 1:1, curating resources, penning digital products and hosting workshops. This work was actively combatting the chronic pain crisis our world is in with people WAY too sick, WAY too young for WAY too long.
Lately I’ve been pivoting away from this fulltime immersion in the health world and exploring what other professional interests are within me. My entrepreneurial ventures taught me I prefer intrapreneurial work – taking someone else’s vision and amplifying it by being behind the scenes in the details! While I’m still navigating some symptoms, I’m currently at a turnkey moment of rebuilding my life: working out, job hunting, making goals and dating. Outside of work, I’m most likely researching new country singers, inhaling a mezze platter, borrowing more library books than I can finish, sourcing local farm food, trying to matchmake friends, or hoarding mason jars. My ideal day includes abundant sunshine, bare feet, snuggling my pets, a holy hour and country dancing!
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
That being a deep feeler is my achilles heel. It’s what led to exasperated sighs that I inconveniently always needed to externally process, being labeled dramatic and my reaction dismissed for being too sensitive. While I began dimming myself, I subconsciously noticed that it was a trait of people I was most drawn to – bundled with warmth, curiosity and expressiveness. It has taken unbelievable amounts of inner work with therapy, KST chiropractic care, health coaches, prayer and conversations with trusted friends to begin to unravel this story. The more boundaries I’ve put in place, the more I’ve seen how inextricably we are connected: mind and body. Our bodies don’t forget these moments – no matter how micro they are – and their repression can develop into chronic disease. “Mind Your Body” by Nicole Sachs is an excellent, approachable read on this topic!
Is there something you miss that no one else knows about?
I miss going to our neighborhood pool and the nostalgic, serendipitous feeling of hearing your favorite songs on the radio over the loud speaker (back when you couldn’t listen to whatever you wanted when you wanted on streaming devices)! Then coming home, limbs exhausted and inhaling Caesars pizza with carrots and ranch on a tablecloth spread across the floor. It was even better when our neighbors and friends would join us! Everytime I hear “Hey There Delilah” and “Bad Day” I think of splashing around in the pool, savoring every moment until adult swim.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
Catholicism becoming more trauma informed. I’ve been very edified by shifts in this because of Catholic life coaches and new organizations arising but I’m hungry to help it permeate more deeply. I’ve experienced both sides of the coin as I’ve been public with my healing journey. People typically have the best intentions but the delivery largely misses the mark. It’s peculiar for a religion that finds deep value in suffering.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What will you regret not doing?
These existential ones stress me out! More of my bucket list – especially travel or activities that are easier when you’re not rooted with a family. When I was at my sickest, I stopped dreaming. Then I’ve been so hungry to “catch up” on life that I missed in my late 20s/early 30s. So I don’t want to keep pushing bucket list dreams to “someday” or “next year”…while also honoring my capacity as I continue to heal. Sometimes my brain is flooded with decision fatigue and frenzy over time passing!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://substack.com/@marykhadivi/posts
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themarykhadivi/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marykhadivi/
- Other: Join my weekly email list: https://marykhadivi.myflodesk.com/sxaqef6r3k
Image Credits
Brooke Boyington
Katarina Greenwood
Dani Leikam
Anne Davis
