Inspiring Conversations with Kirsten Schmidt of Totus Wellness, LLC

Today we’d like to introduce you to Kirsten Schmidt.

Hi, Kirsten. I’m so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work life, you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today.
I remember sitting in the bathroom stall at my school in 5th grade. I remember looking down at my stomach, turning my fingers into make-believe scissors, and pretending to cut fat off my body. I would pinch my stomach and say, “If I could lose this much fat, I would be happy and beautiful.” This belief shaped the next decade of my life. In high school, I developed anorexia. Then, I eventually realized that a fit, muscular body was the “ideal” body type. So, I traded in my emaciated body for a culturally “fit” figure. I traded anorexia for orthorexia. People began cheering me on for how much “healthier” I looked.

I eventually read about Paleo and Whole30 and how our food is killing us. Wellness culture told me my hormonal and gut problems were caused by food. Macro counting was no longer enough to attain perfect health and a healthy body. I needed to eliminate all those “toxic” foods. As a freshman in college, I strove to eat a very clean diet. Not long after I began restricting these “bad” foods, I began binge eating the exact food I was not supposed to have. It started as a cheat meal on the weekends. But once I started eating those delicious foods that were usually off-limits, I couldn’t stop. After I inevitably ate way past fullness, I would determine that my diet was ruined and that I would restart on Monday, thus starting the cycle of binging and then restricting. My health continued to decline.

At this point, I knew diets didn’t work. However, I was convinced that I wasn’t dieting. I was pursuing a “lifestyle change.” There would be times when I could stick to my “lifestyle change” for a while without binging, but when a party or a holiday came up, my mind was flooded entirely with food thoughts and uncontrollable cravings. I could not even enjoy the present moment because I was trying to ignore my overwhelming cravings and food thoughts, or I was miserable after overeating.

I hit a low point. My health was at an all-time low. I was binging again. I hated my body. I wept. I sobbed for hours. I was so tired of trying to constantly meet the world’s standard for beauty, health, and health, ending up feeling worthless, having my body rebel against me in poor health, and feeling like I had no control over food. When I was at my absolute lowest point, God met me.

This began the journey of healing my relationship with food and body. Today, I no longer diet or binge eat. Although my health could improve (not even your favorite influencer has ideal health), I am far healthier than ever. Better yet, I no longer carry the burden of body shame. I trust my body and its signals and can consistently respond with compassion and nourishment. I learned what it meant to be a steward of my body, mind, and soul, and I teach other women how to do the same!

Alright, let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what challenges have you had to overcome?
The journey has been far more complex than I could ever imagine. Diet culture is so ingrained in our society. Women tend to normalize body shame and body comparison. When the shame becomes too overwhelming, women are encouraged to go on a diet and lose weight. Additionally, there is an incredible amount of misinformation about weight loss and health outcomes. I’ve seen far more women harmed by diets and weight loss attempts than have been helped. I’m not anti-weight loss. I’m pro-behavior change, regardless of weight.

My goal isn’t to help women lose weight. My goal is to help women steward and nourish their bodies consistently. Do some women lose weight? Yes! But that is not the sole objective. I trust that when I can help a woman steward her body consistently, her weight will wind up wherever it is meant to be. I find that this approach is much more effective at improving health than pursuing weight loss. Research tends to support this. In the process, I help women heal the decades of body shame that they likely learned from their parents, school, and culture. My motto? You will never heal a body you hate. You cannot shame your way to health; you can only love your way there. However, our culture and medical system are so weight and diet-focused that this message can be challenging to communicate. Not to mention all of the health fear-mongering running rampant in society, it’s no wonder 3 in 4 American women have some form of disordered eating!

Thanks – so, what else should our readers know about Totus Wellness, LLC?
I hold two degrees – one in Kinesiology and one in Human Nutrition. I was a straight-A student (except for that one darn B in Organic Chemistry) who soaked up all the newest health and nutrition information. But something bothered me. How do we have more access to health information than ever before, yet our population doesn’t seem to benefit from it?

I was the perfect example of this. I knew how to create the ideal diet and workout plan, yet I couldn’t stop my binging and self-sabotage. I realized that more than information is needed to develop sustainable action! So, I dove head-first into the field of behavior change. I now consider myself a self-sabotage expert. Most women know what to do regarding their health, yet they need help to implement it consistently or sustainably. Most women pursue health by working against their biology rather than with their biology. God created our bodies intelligently, yet most people put more faith in a calorie tracker. My business is different for four main reasons. I never put my clients on a diet. I address all areas of health (not just food and exercise). I help my clients find the root cause of their self-sabotage. I keep Jesus at the center of my practice.

I help women in many different ways. My most popular program – InteGROW – focuses on whole health. Many women come to me struggling with binge eating, emotional overeating, yo-yo dieting, and body shame. I help them heal by focusing on more than just food. I help my clients regulate their nervous system, create good sleep hygiene, set boundaries, conquer self-sabotage, heal old emotional wounds that are showing up in their relationship with food, overcome body shame, find movement they love, learn to interpret their body cravings, and understand their bodies signals (and respond with nourishment) all while growing deeper in relationship with God. When we address all areas of health, nourishment becomes second nature. My clients can enjoy a cookie (guilt-free), feel satisfied, and then move on with life! Their minds are no longer consumed with food, thoughts, and body shame. Many clients find that as they heal their relationship with food and body, other areas of their lives improve (especially their relationships). We do all of this without tracking, weighing, or restricting food. I also have a body image mini-course that helps women overcome body shame. I am working on two books, a Bible study, and a self-sabotage and inner-wound healing course.

Is there any advice you’d like to share with our readers who might just be starting?
I wish you, the reader, knew how beautiful you are and how nothing in the world can add to your inherent worth. If all women could see their bodies as a lovely gift, nobody would be dieting, nobody would be living in shame, and all women would have better health. If I had recognized the gift of my body and realized the gift of my body was a gift worth protecting, I would have never started that diet. I would have never developed anorexia, then orthorexia, or binge eating. I would have been nourishing and stewarding my body all along.

I also wish more women understood the dangers of weight-loss dieting, how most women will develop disordered eating, how weight cycling (where you lose weight then re-gain it over and over) can increase your risk for mortality, how research indicates that weight-loss dieting can harm your health long-term. When you stop trying to meet cultural standards for fitness and beauty and instead treat your body as a divine gift, something incredible happens: you heal!

I wish women realized that most of what you see on social media is created to produce shame or fear to sell a product that you can do everything right and still not look like that influencer. I majored in kinesiology to learn how to create the “perfect” workout routine. I almost always got in 10k steps and worked out 6 days a week. I also majored in Human Nutrition, so I knew how to create the perfect meal plan for my goals. I ate perfectly “clean.” I ate no added or refined sugars. I never drank liquid calories. I never ate processed foods. I spent hours meal prepping. I lived and breathed “fitness.” And even through all that, I still didn’t look like 99% of the influencers out there claiming all it takes is more dedication and willpower. I still hated my body. I still had worse health than I do now (even though I allow myself to eat sugar now). I developed orthorexia and was praised for it. That extreme lifestyle led to binge eating, hormonal problems, anxiety, and gut issues.

Now, things are different. I sleep and rest more, workout less, move and eat in ways I enjoy, and practice mindfulness. I healed my body shame and worked through trauma. I no longer binge eat, count macros, or restrict. I don’t freak out about processed foods, sugar, or liquid calories. I have no food anxiety or guilt. I pay attention to emotional needs. I get outside more. I enjoy the present moment. I’ve grown closer to God. I trust my body and know how to respond to its signals. I nourish my body without rules, pressure, and shame. I have more fun. I socialize more. I no longer do meal prep; I can interpret my cravings rather than fear my cravings. And I’ve never felt more freedom and peace with my health and body. I help women achieve these exact results.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.totuswellness.com
• Instagram: @totus_wellness
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kirsten.zerr/
• Youtube: Totus Wellness
• Other: https://go.totuswellness.com/masterclass