Today we’d like to introduce you to Nicole Schafer.
Hi Nicole, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
I’ve always known I wanted to help people. Let’s just say I was a deeply feeling kid. I still remember in second grade when my teacher called my mom because I was so worried about another girl in class who missed her mom that I couldn’t focus on my own work. That story has become kind of a family joke, but it also captures something true about me – I’ve always been attuned to others’ emotions and wanted to make people feel understood and cared for.
So, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone when I decided to pursue a degree in psychology. After graduating from the University of Missouri (Go Tigers!), I stayed in the Midwest and earned my Master’s in Counseling Psychology from UMKC. The second half of my graduate program happened during COVID, which brought so many unexpected challenges. Finishing my internship and coursework virtually was difficult, but it also taught me resilience and adaptability. I was lucky to have incredible mentors and supervisors who modeled compassion and steadiness during a time when the world felt anything but.
Amidst all that uncertainty, the need for mental health support had never been greater. I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit, and with encouragement from my mentors, I decided to take a leap of faith and open my own private practice, right at the edge of a global pandemic in January 2021. That leap turned into Nicole Schafer Counseling, where I’ve now had the privilege of walking alongside nearly 200 individuals on their journeys toward creating lives that feel more aligned with their truest, most beautiful selves. This coming January marks five years in private practice – a milestone that continues to feel humbling and deeply meaningful.
In addition to my work in private practice, I also have the joy of collaborating with my former graduate school supervisor, Kori Hintz-Bohn, at Renew Counseling Center in Lawrence, where I work as a lead facilitator for the Anxiety Center’s Adult IOP Group. It’s a full-circle experience that allows me to continue learning, growing, and supporting clients in multiple stages of their healing journey.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
It has definitely not always been a smooth road. I always say that opening my own private practice has been one of the hardest, but most rewarding, decisions I’ve ever made. In graduate school, you learn everything you need to know about how to be a good clinician, but almost nothing about how to actually run a business. I was fortunate to have a business minor, which gave me a bit of a foundation, but there was still a huge learning curve.
I’m eternally grateful for my clinical supervisor and built-in business coach, Jennifer Agee, whose mentorship and encouragement were instrumental in those early years. Navigating things like payroll, taxes, and health insurance felt overwhelming at first. I had to learn quickly, often by trial and error, and trust that each mistake was part of the process.
Another challenge was learning how to market myself and “ride the waves” of private practice, adjusting to the quieter seasons when new referrals slowed down and staying grounded during the busy ones. Over time, I’ve learned that success in this field isn’t about everything running perfectly; it’s about staying steady through the ups and downs and remembering why you started in the first place.
As you know, we’re big fans of Nicole Schafer Counseling LLC . For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
At Nicole Schafer Counseling, my goal has always been to create a space where people feel safe enough to show up exactly as they are. No masks, no pretending, just honesty and connection. I believe therapy should feel human, not clinical. It’s about sitting with someone who truly gets it and helps you find your way back to yourself.
I work primarily with adults navigating anxiety, perfectionism, and that constant pressure to “hold it all together.” Many of my clients are high achieving, “do it all” people who feel like they should be happy but instead find themselves exhausted, disconnected, and unsure why it still doesn’t feel like enough.
This population is deeply personal to me because I know what it’s like to live in that space. I understand the pressure of always feeling like there’s more to do, more to accomplish, and more to prove. I like to say I’m a recovering codependent and people pleaser. I spent much of my life focused on making others happy, chasing approval, and “hustling for my worth.” Slowing down felt impossible. Silence was uncomfortable. Stillness was painful. Somewhere along the way, I equated doing and achieving with being lovable.
As an Enneagram 2, I carried the belief that my value came from what I could give to others, a message that was both modeled for me and reinforced by the world around me. I know firsthand how hard it is to break those patterns and learn to live differently. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping my clients do the same: to quiet the noise, release the pressure, and begin creating a life rooted not in performance but in their values and self acceptance.
My approach blends compassion with evidence based practices like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and DBT informed skills. I aim to create a space where clients can slow down, reconnect with their values, and build a life that finally feels like theirs.
After nearly five years in private practice I can honestly say there is nothing more rewarding than witnessing people rediscover themselves. I have had the privilege of watching clients begin to soften toward their own humanity, release impossible standards, and start living with more peace and authenticity. Seeing someone realize they do not have to earn their worth by doing more, that they are already enough, is the greatest honor of my work.
Before we go, is there anything else you can share with us?
Something I always remind people is that your pain doesn’t have to be compared to anyone else’s to be valid. I hear so many clients say, “I shouldn’t be struggling – other people have it worse,” or “My problems aren’t big enough for therapy.” But the truth is, you don’t have to wait until everything falls apart to reach out for help. Therapy isn’t only for moments of crisis, it’s for anyone who wants to feel more grounded, find clarity, and live a life that feels more like their own.
There’s also a quiet stigma, especially for men and people of color, that says asking for help is a sign of weakness. I want to be clear: it’s not. It’s one of the bravest things you can do. And here’s what often surprises people – when you take care of yourself, you’re also taking care of the people around you. When you feel more grounded and have the tools to cope, you can show up more fully for the ones you love.
You don’t need the perfect plan or the perfect words to start, just a willingness to take the first step. Sometimes that small act of courage changes everything. You are worthy of love, belonging, and acceptance. You deserve to come home to yourself.
If anything I’ve shared resonates with you, or if you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, I’d love to hear from you! You can reach out through my website or email. I know finding the right therapist can feel like a difficult process, and I’m happy to help you through it, even if that means connecting you with someone who’s a better fit. You don’t have to do it alone.
Pricing:
- $130/50 min session
- Accessibility matters to me, and I reserve a portion of my caseload for clients who qualify for a sliding scale rate.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.schafer-counseling.com/
- Other: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/nicole-schafer-lenexa-ks/821008
Image Credits
Delaney Hady
