We’re looking forward to introducing you to Tonya Tomory. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Tonya, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: What’s more important to you—intelligence, energy, or integrity?
Out of those three, integrity is by far the most important to me. Someone’s integrity is one of the most principal characteristics that matter and make an impression. It’s not only what I value in others and choose my surroundings based on, but it’s something that’s incredibly important to me to uphold for myself and my business. I certainly value energy and intelligence – I refuse to spend my time with those who don’t bring good energy to the table. Strong moral principles and honesty are everything to me.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hi! I’m Tonya. A photographer, dog mom, cat mom, and former college instructor. I’ve owned and operated my photography business, Expressions Exposed Photography, based out of Southeast Kansas full-time for over 11 years. I began shooting when I was in college by taking Photojournalism as an elective course in my Mass Communication degree. I fell in love with the camera, realized that was my calling in life, tweaked the course of my educational path, and here we are. I’m a proud alumna of Pittsburg State University (BS ’08, MA ’11), where I earned both my undergraduate and graduate degrees, as well as taught Communication courses for 10 years. I’m a natural light photographer specializing in weddings, couples, and high school seniors. I love capturing a good love story and documenting seniors during a milestone in their life as they’re on the brink of adulthood.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
Communication and comprehension will make or break every relationship you have. This is something I drilled into my Communication students’ heads every semester as an instructor, and what I live by in my own life daily. The root of every failed or strained relationship in one’s life stems from miscommunication or lack of communication. Period. Talk to one another. Communicate openly and often. Make known what is working for you and what isn’t. I know many people fear confrontation and feel that staying quiet about issues to keep peace in a relationship (whether it’s romantic, friendship, family, work, etc.) is the best option to maintain that relationship. When in reality, it only deteriorates quicker by harboring ill feelings. Having those tough conversations will generally lead to an open dialogue to resolve issues and build a relationship stronger. Healthy relationships have disagreements and conflict. How you receive and respond to those are what’s key. The willingness to communicate and comprehend will lead to healthier, happier, long standing relationships throughout out life.
What fear has held you back the most in your life?
There have been so many times throughout my career journey that I’ve felt I’ve held myself back because I haven’t felt good enough. Imposter syndrome is very real and common in my industry, and something I’ve worked really hard over the last three years to manage and overcome. As wonderful and connecting as social media can be, as a photographer, it can also be constant reminders of what you’re not…or not, yet. This is probably one of the most common conversations I have with other photographers who feel the same way to some degree. We scroll social media, we see all of these beautiful photos posted by higher end photographers around the world, and then we feel as if our work is pennies on the dollar compared to others. I’ve had to work hard mentally and emotionally to remind myself of what I’ve accomplished so far on this path, that I deserve the accolades and achievements I’ve earned, and I’m right where I’m meant to be as a photographer right now. Learning, growing, and striving to be better than I was yesterday.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Is the public version of you the real you?
For the most part, yes! I definitely have a persona where I put on my professional pants and am more refined, polished, and a put-together appearance, but I’m still me. At home (where I primarily work from), I’m generally in a hoody and a messy bun with no makeup, talking only to my animals and a few select friends, and more openly sharing my opinions and thoughts on subject matters. But my personality and the core of who I am never changes, despite the environment.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
I wholeheartedly am doing what I was born to do and living the life I was meant to live. I knew early on in adulthood that my career was going to be incredibly important to me. We spend most of our lives working, I wanted to make sure it was doing something I love everyday that doesn’t feel like “work.” As a photographer, I have never wavered that I’m doing what I’m meant to.
On a personal level, I’m proud of accepting and owning the life I live as childless by choice. Growing up in 1990s rural America, we were basically taught the objectives of life were to graduate high school, get a job, get married, and have kids. That’s it. That’s the plan and that’s what you did. I accepted this until I went to college and really started to discover and create myself. I’m absolutely open to marriage one day, but looking back, that was absolutely no path for me to take while I was still in my 20s and establishing myself personally and professionally. I also have zero desire to ever have human children – fur kids are my jam. I knew this for years into adulthood, but kept telling myself that would change as I got older, and I would eventually want what I was “supposed” to want and have one day. Friends and peers all around me would say things like, “You don’t want kids? What!” Or, “It’s so different when they’re your own.” That was way too big of a risk for me to gamble when I have never looked at a baby or child and thought, “I want that someday.” Not once have I ever felt unfulfilled or less than as a woman because I don’t have children. I struggled all through my 20s up until after I turned 30 with feeling “abnormal” for not meeting the societal norm of wanting to have children. Through therapy and taking a look at other women I admire who never had children and never regretted it, I realized I was completely fine with how I felt. I believe life is meant to be enjoyed to its fullest. If you don’t enjoy something, don’t incorporate it in your life.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.expressionsexposedphotography.com
- Instagram: @eepkansas
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eepkansas
Image Credits
All image credits: Expressions Exposed Photography
