Today we’d like to introduce you to Oscar Orozco-Aguilar.
Hi Oscar , can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
If someone told me 10 years ago that I would have my own small business specializing in loss, grief, and end-of-life support, I probably would have thought they were confusing me with someone else. Growing up as the oldest of four boys in a traditional Mexican household has its fair set of challenges that would make me face many realities early on that children should not have to. Through the challenges of generational family trauma in the form of drug abuse and alcoholism, I had the choice to follow the family’s footsteps or to venture on a new path and trail blaze a new journey for future generations to come.
I knew I wanted to help others but was unsure of how that would look like. I went through many careers and jobs in social work trying to find the “perfect” job but ultimately always left because I felt there was something else out there for me. Come to find out that the thing out there waiting for me was death and grief; but in a different lens than many of us see it through. This all started when I took an elective course on Loss and Grief; “easy A” I thought. ” I know what loss and grief is” I remember thinking as I enrolled only to find out that my own views of loss, grief, and death were very narrow.
This begun the start of what has now been a 7 year journey of specializing in grief and loss. I opened up A Warm Embrace with the intention of being able to be a warm presence to people during some of the most difficult times of our lives; the end; as well as supporting those who remain on coping with their grief and what to do with it. Something that can be challenging in a society that is very grief-phobic. Becoming a Death Doula was a natural process of this journey for me as it allowed me to better support those nearing the end of life, and helping families have these difficult, but important, conversations early on rather than waiting until the last moments.
Younger me would have never imaged myself in the place I am today, but the present me is so thankful to be able to do what I do now which fills me with so much purpose and intention.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
If you are driving around Kansas City, especially right now with all this construction, we know that roads rarely ever tend to be smooth; but it does not stop each of us from getting to where we need to go. This lesson of course escaped me when I was younger and always felt that life seemed a bit harder for me than those around me.
One of the biggest struggles had to be learning how to challenge some of my cultural and family values and traditions that I no longer felt connected to or agreed with. From an early age I was the black sheep of the family, always arguing and questioning why things were the way they were. Navigating the feelings of having family members addicted to alcohol and drugs proved to be a large struggle as well. There was a lot of anger in me as a child, and a part of me always knew to be cautious of that because I knew it was the same feeling that lead many of my family members to drugs too.
I am so grateful to younger me for choosing to instead channel all of that anger into creating a new future for myself, one that would be different than the ones laid out by my family before me. I excelled in school always earning good grades and was the first in my family to earn a bachelors and masters degree.
Although my family also had a generational trauma of believing that we are never “good enough” to do what our heart wants, I was able to finally learn how to get out of my own way and allow the abundance that Spirit was trying to give me to flow in. It allowed me to see that the challenges on my road were never meant to stop me from reaching my destination, but where there to teach me important lessons and wisdom to be better prepared for when I arrived.
Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about A Warm Embrace ?
I opened A Warm Embrace because I wanted to create a space where people could feel safe and comfortable enough to talk about some of the hardest things; the end of our life and the end of the life of those we love. When thinking about the name for my business someone close told me to start by thinking of a word that symbolizes what I want my business to be. Warm was a word that immediately came to mind because it is a word used to describe me and my energy for as long as I can remember. I thought to myself, “what would be something I would want during some of the hardest moments in my life?” – a warm embrace was the answer.
As a clinical social worker, I offer therapy services that specializing in helping those who have experienced a loss in their life and are looking for support in navigating all the emotions that come after. I use a holistic approach to grief as I know that grief is unique to each individual experiencing it. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, a pet, a career, a dream, a change in health, miscarriage, unable to get pregnant, or any other experience that someone might consider a loss for themselves.
As a Death Doula, I provide emotional, spiritual, and physical support to the dying person, their family, and community. This can look like family mediation/discussion about the end of life that has proven to be difficult to do on your own, compassionate bedside presence, sitting vigils, grief support, and so much more. I have the honor of walking alongside families and individuals that often times feel they have to go through this journey alone.
Aside from working with individuals and families in these sacred ways, I also enjoy presenting and talking to people more about these very important topics. Whether it is keynote speaking, hosting workshops, continuing education courses, or coming to speak with staff and students, I think community education on end of life, grief, and death are extremely important.
Lastly, I always like to mention that I get to bring my therapy dog, Daphne, into my sessions with clients and she is always a very welcomed member in my client’s healing journey!
Do you have recommendations for books, apps, blogs, etc?
For mindfulness practices I love using the Calm app. It has a breath work feature that I love to use to start my morning and/or end my day. A book I recently read that I loved was Briefly, Perfectly, Human by Alua Aurthur. She was also my death doula teacher and her memoir of her personal story was very powerful. A Beginner’s Guide to the End by BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger is a great book for those wanting to dip your toes more into these conversation about the end of life. My go to podcast right now is Grief is a Sneak B!tch hosted by a social worker named Lisa Keefauver.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.awarmembracekc.com/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/oscar-orozco-aguilar-lcsw-lmsw-eold-43a171228
