Hidden Gems: Meet Alex Howard of Advantage Counseling Services

Today we’d like to introduce you to Alex Howard.

Hi Alex, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstories.
I would say I am a partial KC native as I actually grew up in Olathe, Kansas. I am the 3rd of 4 children and certainly played the “middle child” role of harmonizer in my family. Faith and sports were major parts of my life growing up as a son of a pastor and all of us were involved in a variety of sports growing up. From the start, I have always enjoyed connecting with people and am blessed to continue to have an amazing group of friends, some of them I have known since the first grade.

I believe where I am today professionally had two beginning points: a class in college and a personal struggle. I had gone to college to study business administration but realized it wasn’t for me and I ended up taking a course in Human Development. Oddly enough we ended up studying the lives of serial killers and I was fascinated. I remember it being the first time I have introduced the idea that behaviors are influenced by our past and this brought on curiosity about my own story. After this class, I switched majors to Family Studies and Human Services and after graduating I pursued a Master’s degree in Counseling.

The other point was a personal struggle that began my freshmen year in college. Faith was an important part of my life growing up and I began to have questions about what I believed which ended up activating deep insecurities and anxieties inside of myself around whether I could be both broken and loved and my struggle to be weak, needy, and vulnerable. I was never taught about feelings growing up so the depth of anxiety and fear I was experiencing made me feel like I was losing my mind and myself in the process.

Thankfully, I found a pastor named Brian at a ministry I was involved in at college who I began meeting with on a frequent basis throughout college. Brian was caring, he was curious, and he was consistent in hearing my struggles and helping me tell my story. After meeting with him and what I was learning in college, I remember telling myself, “I would love to be a Brian to someone else.”

Since then I have completed graduate school and now have run my own counseling private practice since 2018. The beauty and the difficulty of my job are that it continues to activate the painful and messy parts of me and my story. I fumble over my own words, I at times don’t know what to say or where to go, and I can be very critical of my mistakes and failures.

Yet, I am learning that those parts of me do not need to be split off in order for me to be helpful or loveable. In each of my clients, I can see parts of myself and am truly thankful for how they have been a part of my healing journey as I have been a part of theirs.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
I think one of the hardest transitions was going from being a student and intern therapist to being a licensed clinician that people perceived as an “expert”.

As an intern, any fumblings and uncertainty I could hang it on being an intern but after graduating there came with it an unconscious pressure to all of a sudden have it all together even though the reality is that I was and still am relatively new to the field of psychotherapy. While I knew that this “imposter syndrome” was extremely common, it was crippling at times and after my first year, I could feel myself burning out with all the ways I was trying to overcome my “not good enough” sense of myself.

Another challenge has been learning to ask myself what helps me show up best in my life and putting boundaries and guardrails in place in my work and personal life to help that become a reality. I am skilled at recognizing the feelings and needs of others but I have always had a more difficult time recognizing my own feelings and advocating for what I need. Learning to take care of myself has looked like not taking client appointments after 4:30 pm so that I can be home with my family by 5 pm.

It has also looked like ending my sessions on time rather than allowing them to go over and becoming stressed out and resentful. I am finding that recognizing my own needs and setting boundaries is actually the most loving thing that I can do both for myself, my clients, and my other important relationships.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about Advantage Counseling Services?
Advantage Counseling is a private practice counseling organization that I established in July of 2018. I am most known in the therapeutic community as an extensively-trained couples therapist and clinician for high-achieving males that often struggle to know who they are and what they truly want in life.

I feel as though my clients appreciate that they can sense I truly care about them and I work hard to understand them, seek consultation when things feel stuck, and engage them in very authentic and curious ways.

Is there something surprising that you feel even people who know you might not know about?
I really enjoy listening to electronic/trap music! When I am on my way to play some pickleball, I will often blast this in my car to get psyched up for it. Proximity is one of my favorite Youtube playlists to follow as they are constantly finding new songs that are a mash-up of already established songs or new and upcoming electronic songs.

Pricing:

• Individual Therapy $145
• Couples Therapy $165

Contact Info:

• Email: alex@advantagecounselingkc.com
• Website: www.advantagecounselingkc.com
• Instagram: @advantagecounselingkc

Image Credits
Kristin Klug