Today we’d like to introduce you to Nettie Zan.
Hi Nettie, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
There’s a million diversions along the path I walked to this day: casino pit boss, peanut butter factory worker, touring poet, performance art venue boss applesauce, best mathematician of my graduating college class, teaching physics labs at KU … so many stories to tell. But the story for how I go to this moment has much more to do with having made the decision to live out of my truck and travel the continent after suddenly getting sober.
A combination of terrible events left me at a dangerous crossroads, and I decided I was done drinking. My venue closed, my dog died, and I was diagnosed with a brain tumor within a month of each other. Of course I went on a bender. And that bender did what benders do and cost me the trust and patience of my nearest and dearest. When I made that auspicious decision, I felt utterly demeaned and worthless. The hour was dark. And in that darkness, God spoke to me so clearly and assured me that my path would be clear if I could remain sober.
Now, I’d been an atheist for a long time, but I surrendered in that moment and gave into the brutal truth: that everything about my life was about to change. Looking back, this is a glorious day! But back then I was really afraid of an unknown future. I was jobless, dogless, friendless (almost — bless Emily who let me live with her while I got through those first few months), and adrift.
Who could have guessed that seven years later I would be living in my dream house, with a cute new dog (hi Hazel!), and working jobs that are so richly fulfilling, with a wonderful community and lots of friends. Oh, and chosen as the “Artist to Watch” by KC Studio magazine, and an ESL teacher for adult immigrants, and working towards my 500 hour yoga teacher training, and working towards a Certified Peer Specialist accreditation, and having a successful meditation career and having reconciled with my son.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
When you are embarking into an unknown future, it is often scary. Everything you are doing is totally new. And I was already in my 40’s, so it felt like starting over with nothing. So I decided to cherish nothing, to value living close to the ground, and to notice what I really needed versus what I thought I needed. I lived in a number of intentional communities. These challenges are all about how to live and work together with people where you can’t just quit. You wake up with all the conflict of yesterday because you live with your co-workers. It lent tons of valuable lessons, and redefined my ability to positively deal with conflict.
I’m a lucky one, because my path of sobriety has been pretty easy. Beyond being subject of a community meeting to decide if I was able to attend women’s AA groups since I was non-binary, once taking a drink of alcohol accidentally (I was fine), and seeing the man who abused me acting as a leader in my home group … I’ve been ever thankful for being sober!
The biggest struggle was trusting the path, and not always having all the answers.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
My art has been a constant in my life. It has been my most trusted guide, entertainment and connector. I currently work on a series of paintings and drawings done from trance spaces, called “the small gods of animals.” The images are created quickly and are kind of like my versions of petroglyphs. Except I don’t mark on the wild, people have done enough altering of the earth. Each of the beings I create lives on in many iterations. I keep re-drawing all the pieces that sell. The little drawings often get elevated into larger works — the biggest is 14 feet by 5 feet.
I am known for the emotional intensity of my work, and the unusual figures, but I think what sets me apart the most is my refusal to become a “career” artist. I like to have my regular job to pay bills with, so that my art can be priceless. And my priceless, I mean really affordable. My recent solo show at Vulpes Bastille nearly sold out! I like to think of payment as a gesture. If you want to live with one of my paintings, then I think we should be friends. And I’ve made a lot of friends!
The value of an artist is not in their price point, but in their connection and service to community.
Do you have any memories from childhood that you can share with us?
I lived at a rental house with a stable behind it when I was in the fourth grade. There were lots of horses, mostly untended, which meant I could go play with them whenever I liked. There were big fields, woods, a great creek, and I would spend hours in the company of all the animals. I rode the little Shetland with no saddle or bridle. I became friends with the big horse that reminded me of The Black Stallion. I watched a foal being born. I got leeches in the creek. It was an infinity of joyfulness and connection with the wild. This was the place I learned to love the wild and learned to explore.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://nettiezan.com
- Instagram: @listenmore
