We recently had the chance to connect with Daryl Haley Jr. & Lucretia Haley and have shared our conversation below.
Good morning Daryl & Lucretia , it’s such a great way to kick off the day – I think our readers will love hearing your stories, experiences and about how you think about life and work. Let’s jump right in? What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?
Not everything we do is meant for social media. What people don’t always see are the quiet, intentional moments that keep our family grounded — the care, prayer, and commitment that happen behind the scenes. It’s the Bible study sessions we have with our kids, the unhurried talks around the dinner table about their day, and the family nights we set aside just to laugh, be silly, and make memories together. Those are the moments that mean the most to us.
Behind our marriage, there’s a lot of unseen work too. You might not notice the sacrifices we make to pay off debt or reach new financial goals, or the check-in meetings we have using the same framework from our Communication Game Changer: Check-in Cheat Sheet. During those moments, we talk about our highs and lows, our finances, offer appreciation and compliments, discuss intimacy, and share the realities of parenting. It’s not always easy, but it keeps us connected and grounded. And through it all, we make sure to keep dating each other — those date nights are sacred. They remind us to slow down, laugh together, and keep the spark alive.
People often see the ministry and the business side of what we do, but they don’t always see the behind-the-scenes dedication — the late nights spent perfecting a website, the strategy meetings that stretch into the evening, or the coaching sessions we give simply because we care about people’s growth.
What we’re most proud of isn’t just what others see — it’s what God is allowing us to build in the background: a foundation of faith, love, and purpose. We’re passionate about helping others have healthy relationships and strong marriages, but that starts with us first. It’s the reason we became coaches, and it’s why we’re committed to practicing what we teach every single day.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
We’re DJ and Lucretia Haley — Founders of When Marriage and Purpose Collide ® Christian relationship coaches, speakers, authors, and co-hosts of the When Marriage and Purpose Collide podcast. Our story began online and, within a year and a half, we were married. That journey taught us so much about faith, timing, and the intentional work it takes to build a lasting relationship. Now, we have the privilege of sharing those lessons with others who desire the same.
Through our coaching programs, live events, and our signature Intentional Christian Singles Dating Experience—a unique blend of Christian dating coaching and virtual blind dating—we help Christian singles date with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
As Prepare/Enrich Certified Facilitators and one of the Alpha Pre-Marriage support couples within our church, we’re passionate about helping individuals and couples grow through deeper conversations, emotional healing, and spiritual development. Whether we’re speaking at conferences, churches, podcasts, or virtual summits, our goal remains the same: to help people break unhealthy patterns, strengthen their faith, date with intention, and build relationships that last.
Everything we teach is rooted in our WMPC Intentional Love Blueprint which focuses on building love with purpose, faith, and intention—because when marriage and purpose collide, everything changes.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
DJ:
The relationship I had—and still have—with my dad has played a huge role in my faith journey. I say had because before he accepted Christ, he was a different man. Even then, I looked up to him, but we faced challenges that pushed me to take a different path in life. I say have because after he was saved, I witnessed how his walk with God revealed the power of mercy and transformation. Seeing that change drew me closer to God and inspired me to walk with Him fully. That decision began a journey I never imagined possible, and now, I’m in a place I could have never foreseen—but I’m truly blessed to be here.
Lucretia:
Growing up, I quickly realized how different my household was compared to many of my friends’. I was the only one in my circle who had both a mother and father at home. That wasn’t something I ever boasted about
—it was simply something I deeply appreciated. As I got older, I began to understand just how special it was.
Watching my parents’ marriage endure both tests and triumphs gave me a living example of what true partnership looks like. I didn’t fully grasp the strength it took until I got married myself. Now, I see their love and resilience through a whole new lens—and my appreciation for them has only grown.
Having both my mom and dad was truly a privilege. My father’s presence in particular had a profound impact on me. Many of my high school and college friends didn’t have close relationships with their fathers, and that made me even more grateful for mine. My dad was my safety net—my source of wisdom, protection, and calm. Because of that, I was intentional about the men I dated. I wanted to be sure that any man I allowed into my life not only aligned with God’s approval but also reflected the character my father modeled for me.
It’s no surprise that when I met my husband, the qualities that stood out most were the ones that reminded me of my dad—steadfastness, integrity, and a quiet strength. Their relationship helped shape how I see love, commitment, and ultimately, myself.
If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?
DJ:
Stay persistent. Don’t pour your energy into situations that don’t require your presence. Instead, focus on developing and using the talents you already possess—you may be surprised by how many you truly have. Remember, the only thing standing between you and progress is often yourself. And above all, set clear boundaries; your time and energy are valuable, and not everyone deserves access to them.
Lucretia:
“You don’t have to chase identity in people or things- your identity was already secure in Christ before you ever tried to find it”
In my younger years, I often tied my worth to what I could achieve or how others saw me. I was known as “the good girl,” and for a long time, I let that label define me. I built my confidence around performance, praise, and perception—believing that being good or doing good somehow made me whole. But eventually, I realized that kind of striving only left me empty.
There were seasons when I chose my own way over God’s will, thinking it would lead to fulfillment, but instead, it led to disappointment. I wish someone had reminded me earlier that my value was never something I had to earn or prove—it was already secured in Christ. That truth would have saved me from a lot of searching and striving in the wrong places.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
Lies: Something must be wrong with me because I’m still single.
Truth: Your worth is not defined by your relationship status.
Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Lies: There are no good Christian men/women left?
Truth: God always preserves and provides what we need — in His timing.
Philippians 4:19 – “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Lies: Marriage will fix my loneliness or insecurities.
Truth: Only Christ can truly satisfy the deepest places of our hearts
Psalm 73:26 – “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Lies: I’m running out of time.
Truth: God’s timing is perfect and never late.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 – “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
Lies: All the good ones are taken or married.
Truth: God is still writing stories and preparing hearts — yours included.
Isaiah 43:19 – “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
If any of these lies have ever crossed your mind — you’re not alone. We all wrestled with them at some point in our single season. But truth brings freedom.
That’s why we created Intentional Christian Network — a space for Christian singles to grow, heal, and connect through real conversations about faith, love, and purpose.
Come join the discussion, share your story, and meet others who are walking this journey intentionally.
Join the Intentional Singles Group
Let’s talk about these truths together and build something real — rooted in Christ, not comparison.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: When do you feel most at peace?
DJ:
Back when I was single, I started visiting the lake just to sit and watch the water. It reminded me of my time in Okinawa and soon became my place of seclusion—a quiet space where I could talk to God without distractions. Just the sound of the water and His presence. To this day, it remains one of my favorite places.
Lucretia
Just the other day, someone asked me, “How do you keep it all together in a world like this?” The truth is—it’s not easy to find peace. What I often share with Christian singles is the importance of building intimacy with the Lord now, in your single season. Practice peace in your present—while working, pursuing dreams, managing friendships, or even dating—so it won’t feel foreign in marriage.
How you seek Jesus while single will reflect in how you show up in marriage. In a world filled with chaos and uncertainty, I’m reminded of Jesus’ words:
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28-29
True peace doesn’t come from striving or success—it comes from Him. The peace Jesus gives allows me to experience calm and rest in every season of life.
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