Today we’d like to introduce you to Madi and Leena .
Hi Madi and Leena, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
We come from very spiritually abusive backgrounds and both of us had to escape our homes in 2017 (Leena) and 2023 (Madi). In 2024 we met and exchanged stories and experiences and realized we had a lot in common. These stories ignited passionate discussions between us and we realized that abuse is overlooked in many Christian circles. Many women experience abuse everyday, and it has become normalized with carefully selected Bible verses and eloquent sermons. Over the last year and through numerous conversations, we decided to start a podcast called, “The Graceful Rebuild”. In this podcast, we explore topics such as grace, abuse in the church, women’s roles, leadership, and other related conversations with a goal to “not change you, but challenge you to walk in a more grace-filled identity with Jesus.”
Leena:
“I grew up in a “Christian” home. We went to church, read the Bible, and looked on the outside like your typical American Christian family. However, behind closed doors I was abused physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually. I was homeschooled from 2nd grade up through highschool, and my interactions with people were limited and conditioned. Everything-the clothes I wore, the things I ate, the way I spent my time, the words I said-were used to manipulate and control me. From an early age I learned that fear was the motivation for everything… and the mechanism by which people in authority (including God) kept me in obedience. It wasn’t until I got my first job that I realized my situation was very abnormal. The thought of leaving scared me, and my parents threatened me even though I was 18. My mom would tell me “you are choosing to follow Satan if you leave”. People started to notice the bruises and my behaviors and began to ask me questions. One conversation with a coworker caused me to realize that I needed to leave. Although I was scared and intimidated, the thought of freedom gave me hope that my living nightmare could end.
Little did I know, the next 8 years would be the most refining years of my life. I went through a period of darkness that led to heavy drinking, getting high, being arrested, and even serving jail time. I tried to fill every void in my life, and it left me crushed and tired. After becoming a single mom in 2020, I realized I needed love, Jesus’ love, to rebuild myself piece by piece. I started to understand that falling apart would heal me because REDEMPTION and GRACE held me together. Now, as a wife and a mom of two, I strive to reflect the redeeming love I’ve been shown to my family. As a result, I am breaking generational trauma and sharing with other women the importance of Jesus’ love and grace. Madi and I both hope to share our journeys of reconstructing our faith through our podcast, “The Graceful Rebuild”.
I now find myself living in the beauty of freedom and healing on the other side of survival. My childhood may have been laced with abuse and sadness, but my story isn’t over. I have the incredible opportunity to rewrite my story alongside my Savior and Redeemer! My healing will continue for the rest of my life, and I live in the hope that one day I will be complete, perfect, and whole.”
Madi:
“I also grew up in a “Christian” household. Although we claimed Christianity, my childhood was riddled with abuse and lies about who God is and about who I am. I lived in fear constantly, as I was abused spiritually, physically, and emotionally. By the time I was almost twenty, CPS had knocked on our door three times. Although I realized I was being treated differently than other kids, I had no way of escape.
It was until 2023 that I had finally had enough and was tired of being controlled and abused. My realization came when I was first told about the love of Jesus. All my life God was portrayed as wrathful and angry, and I learned that fear is what motivates us into obedience. When I heard that God was not actually angry with me and that He loved and cared for me, I realized that I needed to leave.
Leaving was really hard. I knew it would sever me from my family and prevent me from having a relationship with any of my five siblings. Two of my younger siblings I had basically raised. It really hurt me, and it took a lot out of me to give up my family for the sake of my freedom.
I left September 6th, 2023. I had to sneak all my stuff out to my car and leave for the college I was attending at the time. It was my only way of escape and my only way to have support. Police were called and court sessions proceeded. In early 2024, I was able to secure an Order of Protection and completely cut ties with my parents.
I met Leena at the end of 2024, and after hearing her stories, I realized for the first time that I was not alone. We had numerous conversations, and finally decided to start our own podcast called, “The Graceful Rebuild”. Our mission is to spread awareness that these forms of abuse are happening under our very noses. Women are living in hell, believing that they are serving God by serving an abuser. We hope to be able to encourage people to take action, and to understand the severity of these situations. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but nothing changes if people are not willing to question the systems they serve.
I also hope to write a book in the future, and possibly speak at conferences and at churches. I personally want Christians to realize how harmful spiritual abuse is, and to take caution when teaching ideas that limit or restrict women.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
We had a lot of technical difficulties. We had to switch platforms and figure out how to upload and save all of our podcasts. I would also say life in general. (Leena) is a mother of two, and (Madi) works full-time. We also realize that we get a lot pushback due to fact that a lot of our conversations are controversial in nature.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
Leena is a part time doula and a stay at home mom. She is proud of the fact that she is a trauma–informed doula
Madi is a Mortgage Servicer at RG Federal Credit Union. (We both run the podcast)
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
We both give credit Dr. Luther Smith for his encouragement and guidance. He initially had us on his podcast and made us realize how much we enjoyed podcasting.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @thegraceful_rebuild
- Facebook: @thegracefulrebuild
- Youtube: @thegracefulrebuild
